Tangy Bee Buzz

RESUME of George W. Bush The White House, USA

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

LAW ENFORCEMENT:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"
and is not available.

MILITARY:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take
a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for US Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business
in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't
find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold
all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a
sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of
my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor
of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure,
Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions
in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any
governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in US history to enter office with a criminal
record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion dollars per week. I spent the US surplus and effectively
bankrupted the US Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest
annual deficit in US history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a
12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the
US stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans
lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza
Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a US
President. I am the all-time US and world record-holder for receiving
the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign
contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over
the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in US history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure my success with the US Supreme Court during my election
decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent
investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in US history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history.

I changed the US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to
administration than any President in US history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy
in the history of the United States government. I've broken more
international treaties than any President in US history.

I am the first President in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the US from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US "prisoners of war"
detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 US election.) I set the record for least
number of press conferences of any President since the advent of
television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security failure in US history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the US after the World Trade Center
attacks and less than a year later made the US the most hated country
in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously protest against me in public venues (15 million
people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the
history of mankind. I am the first President in US history to order
an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a
sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the
majority of US citizens, and the world community. I have cut health
care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for
active duty troops and their families -- in war time. In my State of
the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then
blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in
history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as
the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting
development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden and
to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
Vice-president, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW.